Thankful Thursday

So this past week I am thankful yet again for gaining another week in this pregnancy. We are now at 16 weeks and 2 days! I am four weeks post cerclage and cannot wait until next Thursday when I get to see my high risk doctor and see how my cervix looks. I am praying that it is the same as last time, but we all know how fast things can change. If there is any change, I just hope that is nothing too major! I will also get to see the little squirt again, so of course that is always exciting and helps me relax a little bit when I can see that baby moving around!

I am also very thankful for my sister in laws last biopsy for her heart transplant. Andrea had a biopsy last Wednesday and on Friday got the results that it was ZERO rejection!!!!! This was three weeks after her previous biopsy, so this was WONDERFUL news. Hopefully this will be a continuing trend!!!

And of course, I am always thankful for my family, friends and life.

Wee Bit Of Me Wednesdays

{one} if you won a trip to Disneyland/world, who would you take with you?Obviously my hubby and little man!
 {two} when was the last time you listened to a CD?Yesterday while driving...was hubbys CD though :) {three} what spice/seasoning is your favorite?Ha! Usually I would say garlic plus, but this baby wants nothing to do with spices! {four} if you were in a band, what kind of music would you play?Not too sure....I would say probably something like Chicago {five} if you could have personally witnessed one historical event, which one would it be?I have absolutely no clue! {six} if you could go back to school, what would you study?I would probably double major in Business and Web Development. {seven} if you could go to one sporting event, all expenses paid, which one would you see?Well considering I only like hockey, I would have to say a Leaf game :) {eight} do you drive an automatic or a manual?It is automatic,but I LOVE driving manual! {nine} are you comfortable speaking in front of people?It honestly depends. At times I am totally okay and other times I am nervous. I guess it depends what I am talking about and to who. {ten} have you ever experienced an earthquake?Nope… thank God!

16 Weeks!

How baby is growing:

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Right now, he is about 4.5 inches long (head to rump) and weighs about 3.5 ounces. Overall about the size of an avocado.

Weight gain? No idea since last time. I don't like to weigh myself anyways so have to wait till I see doctor next week! haha

Stretch Marks?  Nope!

Sleep? Still waking up in the middle of the night and have a hard time going back to sleep. Still don't really know why, but I sure hope that it doesn't last too much longer!

Best Moment Of The Week? Getting the news on Friday that Andrea's biopsy for her heart transplant was ZERO rejection!!!! WOO HOO

Foods I Am Loving? Still the cottage cheese, cherry yogurt and hot dogs

Foods I Am Hating? Still can't do a hamburger (unless it is a Big Mac)!

Movement? I am going to say yes. Not very often at all, but definitely something going on in there. I had two times today where it made me stop what I was doing and wonder what it was. Obviously nothing HUGE, but enough to make me smile. And trust me, these days I need that.

Symptoms? Still dealing with headaches. NOT fun. It was so bad the other day it actually had me in tears. And if I work a full 8 hour day, I definitely deal with backaches.

Memories Of This Day

Two years ago today our sweet baby boy H came into this world too soon at only 18 weeks and 4 days. There hasn't been one day since that has passed where I haven't thought about him and what life would be like if he were here.

Being 15 weeks and 6 days pregnant now is very scary for me. I know from week 18 until week 24 I am going to be on edge. And yes, I know that I have to be positive and I know that worrying isn't going to do much, but until you have lived in my shoes, you just have NO idea how hard being pregnant is. I can't enjoy it like most do. I try on some days, but deep down I am SCARED. Just plain SCARED. 

I take a lot of comfort from the reading I had in February with a psychic medium. She truly helped me put my mind at ease for many things. And my grandma told me that everything is going to be fine. And I believe her.

Miss you sweet boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankful Thursday

*1* Gaining another week into this pregnancy....we are now at 15 weeks 2 days!!!

*2* My mom saving me today.....just when I needed time alone to rest, she was here.

*3* My cervix measurement being a whopping 5.8cms!!!!

*4* Seeing my babies heartbeat and watching him/her bounce around.

*5* My little mans smiles the past few days when I am feeling down.

Wee Bit Of Me Wednesdays

 {one} what was your first job?My first job was at Burger King.
{two} have you ever seen a stand up comedian?No, but I would LOVE to see Josh Blue!
{three} when was the last time you played mini golf?Wow, a long time ago! There was a mini golf place just up the road from where I grew up....I would say at least 8 years ago!
{four} what was the last picture you took?My little man of course! haha
{five} burnt food: yes or no?No thanks.
{six} if you have a pocket full of change, what do you do with it?Either put in in my change purse or into little mans piggy bank.
{seven} can you touch your tongue to your nose?Nope.
{eight} do you scrapbook?I do! Actually just been getting back into it after a long break.
{nine} do you buy lottery tickets?Sure do! Can't win without one!
{ten} do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?Behind it 100%!

15 Weeks!

How baby is growing:

Baby is busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds.

Baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces, about the size of an apple.

Weight Gain? A total of 9 pounds so far.

Maternity clothes? Yep! And man, it is sooo much more comfy on my tummy! :)

Stretch marks? Nope.

Belly button in or out? Still in

Sleep? Well I fall asleep just fine, but I am waking up during the night and have a very hard time going back to sleep for some reason. Two nights ago I was up from 3am to 5am just because. It sucks.

Foods I am loving? Hmmm peaches still and now cottage cheese.

Foods I am hating? Dinners are tough still. I had pork and beans mixed with cottage cheese and HP sauce last night! hahahaha...it was yummy!

Best moment this week? Yesterday and finding out my cervical length was an incredible 5.8cms!!!!!!!

Movement? Sometimes I wonder, but nothing definite yet that I can say.

Symptoms? Been suffering from headaches this past week. Tylenol does nothing so I just have to manage through them. Some days they are there from the minute I wake until the minute I go to bed. Not fun!

A Great Ending To March Break

Well March break is officially over! We had an awesome week full of fun, but A sure was excited to head back to school today!

Yesterday I decided to head to the Science Centre in Toronto with A. I found out a couple of days ago that his all time favorite two singers, Bobs & Lolo were going to be there doing a show. I wasn't 100% sure about going initially as it was a first come first serve concert and I really didn't know what to expect being in Toronto and with how busy it might be.

Haha he was too busy watching them and not looking at me taking the picture!

This morning I decided to pack him all up and we headed out. The drive was nice and we got there in just under an hour. Little man wasn't too sure what to think at all but he was excited upon walking into the hall and seeing the stage set up with a Bobs & Lolo background!

Think he is enjoying himself?

Paying very close attention

Cuddles with mommy during a slow song :)



I just love watching him when he watches them. They bring a joy to my boys face that is incredible. They definitely are two amazing women!!! When we got home, guess what we ended up doing? Yep, watching their DVD! hahaha this kid is obsessed! So THANK YOU Bobs & Lolo for all that you do!!!!!!

Today I headed to Hamilton for another appointment with my high risk team. I had my first cervical length measurement done and am so thrilled to say that it was 5.8cms!!!! This is AMAZING! The doctor even told me today that it is enough for almost three pregnant women!

The lady who did my ultrasound (it was transvaginal) was awesome. She took time to show me what she was looking at. It was really odd to look at the baby from that angle, but really cool at the same time because it was a close up of its face!!! Lucky the baby was flipped that way or else I would have seen the sex of the baby, and that is a secret until birth!!! The baby was also doing some sucking motions with its mouth....almost the same as what my little man does at night.

I did have some protein found in my urine, but we will see what shows up next visit and go from there. Today was also the last day of my antiobiotics for my UTI, so hopefully that worked. I will be doing another urine culture the end of this week.

Keep those thoughts, prayers and good wishes coming our way!

Thankful Thursday

*1* Gaining another week on this pregnancy!! Being 14 weeks and 2 days!!

*2* My parents....there for me all the time!!! I am the luckiest girl on the planet to have them!

*3* Spending the week with my little man since he is on March break!

*4* The spring ahead time change....love the extended daylight!

*5* Being healthy and happy! 

Wee Bit Of Me Wednesdays

{one} scruffy or clean shaven?

Scruffy!!! I don't like a man that is 100% clean shaven!!!

{two} what’s your favorite sundae topping?

I would have to say caramel...haven't had that in ages though!

{three} do you own slippers?

I do! I wear them most of the time.

{four} did you ever have a tree house?

Yes I did! I remember how the treehouse seemed SO high, but looking at where it was in the tree now, it really isn't high at all! haha

{five} how you do relieve stress?

Good question. It really depends on the day and my mood. A cuddle with one of my boys usually works, a walk if its nice weather, a hot shower, a quick nap, reading a magazine....

{six} what’s your favorite dr. seuss book?

Hmmm can't say I really have a favorite!

{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?

I took ballroom dancing classes MANY years ago.

{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?

Dictionary

{nine} what’s your favorite form of exercise?

Walks with my little man when it is nice out, or bike rides with the family!

{ten} what’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?

I don't really know. Would depend on where I was and what I was there for.

14 Weeks!

How baby is growing:

This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.

Baby is now the size of a lemon! Weighs in at about 1.5 ounces and is 3.5 inches long from head to toe! Hard to believe that not too long ago it was the size of the quarter!!!!!

Weight gain? Not a whole lot. Wish that I had of lost the weight I had gained from quitting smoking prior to becoming pregnant though!!

Stretch Marks?  Nope!

Maternity Clothes? Not really. I can't believe the difference though with each pregnancy. With A I had only gained a total of eleven pounds while pregnant with him and never even wore maternity clothes. With baby H, I had just started to wear maternity clothes the week before we lost him at 18 weeks 4 days. And now with this baby, I am very close to needing maternity clothes at only 14 weeks!

Sleep? I still sleep pretty good. I am up though at least once per night to go pee, but other than that not too bad.

Best Moment of the Week? It is March break so I get to be home with my boy!


Food Cravings? Hot dogs!

Names? Well we definitely know if we have a babygirl that her name is going to be Zoey (after my amazing grandma that I miss every single day!!!!)  However I cannot tell you the entire name as that is a secret. And as for a boy, we have a few. But again, it is secret!

Movement? Not that I can feel yet. There have been a couple of times in the past couple of days where I *think* I feel something, but know it is a tad too early. I can't wait for it though!!!!

What I Miss? Being excited for dinner! This entire pregnancy so far has been VERY rough for me in the late afternoon/evening. I never feel like eating anything and just don't enjoy dinner food like I used to! Hard on hubby as he is so used to me cooking and now I don't even want to do that!

Fun Fact? Right now  I have a feeling we are having another boy...we shall see!!!

I Just Keep Believing!!!

Well this pregnancy continues to be pretty stressful for me. I try to be positive every single day about it, I even tell myself out loud EVERYDAY that things are going to be fine in the end!!!BUT I am not going to lie, it is HARD. VERY HARD.

I felt better after my appointment on Thursday with high risk, and things were going smoothly until Sunday morning when I got out of bed. I went to the washroom and when I wiped, there was brown spotting. I totally freaked out. I know it means "old blood", but still, my question was what is it and why? It continued for the day and was gone this morning.

However this morning when getting up from bed, immediately I again felt leaking. I have had about four episodes today where I feel "leaking."

I received a call from my team this afternoon and was told that my urine culture from last week came back with a very high level of bacteria. I am a little confused as I have NO symptoms of a UTI at all. As well, this has me a tad worried (worry should be my middle name!) as it "can" cause issues with a pregnancy. But hopefully we are getting it quick and the meds will do the trick!!

I am to start antiobiotics today which will last for a week and then I will have another culture done once the antibiotics are finished completely. 


This whole thing is kinda scary because I feel like the urine culture was only done because of my anxiety when I saw the doctor that something must be wrong. I think it was more to ease my mind. And now to know that had I NOT had the culture, something terrible could have happened freaks me out. I sure do know my body, that is for sure!!!! And no matter HOW crazy I may seem to the docs this pregnancy, well that is just too darn bad! hahaha

I knew that getting pregnant again was not going to be easy for me, but I think sometimes you forget just HOW hard things are until you get into the situation again.

However, through this all, I remind myself to BELIEVE!

Sunday was a fun day for little man. We took him to see Max & Ruby live here in town. He absolutely LOVES that show and we knew he would have a great time.

He is actually pretty funny, because he was SO excited once we got inside the building. We had taken him there a few months ago to see Bobs & Lolo and he must have remembered that this was a fun place. We got in line to go inside the theater and when it was our turn, we were told we were in the wrong line and to go back to the first door. Well when we turned around to go to the proper place, little man got SO mad! I think he thought we were leaving without going into the theater! hahaha smarty pants!

Once inside the theater it was just awesome to watch him. When the singers came out and started singing the theme song for Max & Ruby, A's face was PRICELESS.

The show was just over an hour and I'll tell ya, many times I would watch him and tears would fill my eyes. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing him so happy and having such a great time!!!!!!

Love this kid!!

What a silly guy!

Clapping along to the songs with daddy

A Week Post Cerclage

Well I had an unexpected appointment today with my high risk team. I had emailed her on Tuesday as I was concerned that I was leaking fluid of some sort. I have been feeling this it seems on and off since I had my cerclage placed a week ago today. It was not huge amounts, but anything that isn't "normal" to me, concerns me. And seeing that I had the same issue while pregnant with Hunter, this concerned me much more. I had told them back then about my concerns and was told it was probably just urine. That was it. But deep in my heart I knew something was not right. A couple of days later I had a full rupture.

So following my feelings I emailed. She wanted to see me today. It was a family day as A was not in school and J was off work today. I went for ultrasound, and I will tell you it sure is hard to lay there for that long watching the tech do the ultrasound not having a CLUE about what they are seeing and if everything is okay!

After getting all the measurements and such, she turned the screen so I could see the little one. So amazing how things change with these babies so quickly! This picture is only two weeks after the first one and you can see the changes already!

Finally got to see my doctor and I am happy to say that she said the fluid level was "normal." She did say that there is always a chance that the leak is so small that it would be very hard for them to tell, but for now I am going to just continue to be positive and keep praying that this baby WILL come and WILL be a part of our family!!

There is also the chance that during the stitching procedure they stitched into the bladder as it is right beside the uterus, however this would be very rare and within time I would develop an infection.

Since having the cerclage placed a week ago, I have finally settled into it. I was pretty nervous for the first few days after as I was getting A LOT of pain off and on. So bad that I would have to leave the room as I didn't feel comfortable. I also dealt with many episodes of diarrhea, which I believe was from being pumped full of antibiotics during the procedure.

Monday during work I was dealing with some pretty severe back pain. By the time I got home 8 hours later it was horrid. I was almost in tears and just didn't understand WHY it hurt so bad. I mean I had worked three days in a row right before my cerclage and had nothing with my back going on. Then on my first day back after the cerclage, I dealt with this. I thought it was odd. So anyways, I asked her about that and she said that the cerclage pulls on everything inside and therefore that is what is probably causing me the back pain. Right now it is not a huge issue, but it is something I need to be careful with as the pregnancy progresses. Her thought a couple of weeks ago was that I will not be able to work past 18 weeks. So we shall she.

There are still times that I can "feel" the stitch and there are times that it almost takes my breath away. It is the oddest feeling. I have been told by some cerclage mommies that they get "zapping" feelings down below. Hopefully that is something I won't have to experience! haha

Besides these issues, things have been going great. I am still needing to take pills for the nausea as it is pretty severe at night, usually starting at dinner. I take this as a great thing though, as I have never dealt with nausea in my pregnancies.

I will be going back for another appointment in 11 days. It will be at this time that they will start measuring the cervical length and keep a very close eye on that. No complaints....I get to see my baby much more than normal!

We talk to A all the time about him being a big brother. When we ask him if he wants a brother he turns and looks at the picture of Hunter that we have up on the shelf with his urn. It really is cute. How on earth he knew that his brother was there I have NO idea, but hey I love it nonetheless.

So then when we ask him if he wants a sister he just smiles. A sister would be a GREAT thing (mommy is dying to buy PINK PINK PINK!!! hahaha) But I will take ANY healthy baby, no matter what sex they are!

My little man is going to be such a great big brother and I know that the baby will do so much for him as well. With being in school now, he has changed SO much. Just today at the doctor was a good example. In the past when there were small kids around and they would scream/cry, he would get VERY upset. Usually would end in pouting/tears and full out crying. But today there was a young boy screaming away and A would just smile. It was great to see! The teacher tells me that there are still times where A seems to get startled with the kids, but he is coping much better.

His favorite things at school are singing O'Canada, reading books, math time and gym. I am just so proud of him and how far he has come. I never in a million years would have guessed that he would like school. And to see the joy it brings to him just melts my heart! I know he is going to love it come September when he gets to go every single day! And what great timing for a new baby eh? Little man in school all day and a brand new baby here at home....couldn't be more excited for our life of four to start!!!!

Baby On Lockdown!

Well after a long day at the hospital I am home! I was there for 9am but was not called back until just after 10am. I was a nervous wreck to say the least. My stomach issues were acting up and I thought I was going to throw up. My anxiety is bad anyways and then add to it a day like today and it is just over the top.

So I had my IV placed and I have to tell you that never have I had one done so painlessly and well!!! So that was a good start. Finally got taken up to labor and delivery where I met my nurse for the procedure as well as the anesthesiologist. Some tears were shed as my fears increased. And I am glad to tell you that this guy was absolutely fabulous! (I had a HORRIBLE pre op appointment...so bad that I left there crying and no answers/help to anything I would be going through...that is another entire story though.)

He told me that if I wanted a general he would do so but just wanted me to know that there were increased risks being pregnant. I told him how afraid I was on having a spinal done and he promised me that he would walk me through it. As well I told him how I suffer from anxiety and he told me he would help me out and give me something through the IV. Done deal.

So off we go to the operating room.

My nerves once again kicked into high gear. They had me up on the table and were prepping my back for the spinal. My heart rate went up to 155 bpm!!!!! Freezing was placed and it was a burn, burn, burn but I did not feel the spinal being done after that....just pressure. My feet started getting hot and slowly my legs went tingly/numb.

I laid down and anesthesia then gave me a drug to help me relax. I remember thinking that it wasn't working well enough but that's it. When I went into recovery I was kinda shocked to learn I was in there for an hour. It only felt like five minutes!

The recovery was the worst part. Waiting for the spinal to wear off took six hours! The top half went first which then left me with some pretty painful cramping. But thankfully over the hours things got a bit better. I am home now which is just perfect!

This day was MUCH easier than I imagined it would be, that is for sure. And it was made easier and better because I had my mom with me the whole time! :)

Thanks for all the prayers for today.....so far they have worked.

Now we just continue to hope and pray and BELIEVE that this cerclage is going to give us the full term healthy baby that we SO badly want as a part of our family!

Lockdown has begun!!!!

What Is This All About?

Well we are again beginning a new chapter in our lives. We are excited to tell you that we are again pregnant and expecting a new baby!!!!!!!!!!! I am 12 weeks and 1 day right now and tomorrow I am going to be going into hospital to have a cerclage placed. In english, what does this mean? I will be having my cervix stitched.

The high risk team that I deal with does not want me to have another loss so they are trying to do everything they can to help me get this baby to term! A cerclage is used when there is an incompetent cervix. We do not know for sure that this is what I deal with, but with having "A" at 24 weeks and then losing "H" at 18 weeks 4 days there is a very good possibility.

It will not prevent premature rupture (as I had with "H") but we just hope and pray that will not happen again with this pregnancy.

There are risks with the procedure, however the doctors feel that the benefits for me having this done definitely outweigh the risks of doing nothing. We could wait and see, however if my cervix was to shorten and it wasn't found right away then an emergency cerclage has more risks and may not even be doable. So we go with the preventative!

So, I will have my stitching done and pray that all goes well and things continue to go as well as they have been.

I have also been on progesterone since I was 6 weeks pregnant. There are studies that show that progesterone can help prevent preterm labor and loss. As well, progesterone is a very important thing in a healthy pregnancy and there are no risks with taking it and doing any harm.

I have to say though, that this pregnancy has been VERY different than any I have experienced!!! I have been SOOO nauseous. And I mean SOOO bad that I actually had to resort taking medication to help me cope with it. It has truly been a life saver! So I take this as a good sign for this baby!!!

We are SO excited at the thought of possibly having a healthy baby that we can bring home when it is born and not 9 months later. So, throughout the next few months we could definitely use all the prayers that anyone is willing to give to us!



Here is our little squirt (as named by Aunty A) last week!

And just a little reminder, that if you are here on this blog then you are one we have decided to share this news with right now. So please do not post any comments to me on facebook or anywhere "public" until we come totally out of the dark with our news! Thanks all!