Tuesday 26 July 2011

A Great Weekend, A Great Appointment & 33 Weeks!

Well it was an awesome weekend for us, especially little man! Saturday grandma and grandpa C came and picked up A and I to head out to my aunt, uncle and cousins house for some swimming and a BBQ. Aunty A, Uncle S also came out which was really nice. We spent a couple of hours in and around the pool and then had a great dinner.

Of course A LOVED the pool, as usual.




Sunday we were up and ready early to head to Toronto so that little man could see The Wiggles in concert. But first we got to meet them all backstage!





So in baby news, I am now 33 weeks!!! I am only FOUR weeks away from giving birth to a TERM baby! I know the end of the pregnancy is just going to fly by and before we know it we are going to have a new little baby here in our home that we will be totally in love with!

I had a long day yesterday for appointments. First was an ultrasound. They were doing another estimate on baby's size and making sure that baby was doing well. The baby is now measuring at an approximate 5lbs 11oz which is the 90th percentile for size. Baby also scored an 8/8 on the assessment which is wonderful. The ultrasound tech did an internal ultrasound even though I told her that they do not do those anymore and didn't do one last time. She told me it was on the sheet so the doctor obviously wanted it done. I was confused but since I have had so many did it anyways. Wowzers! I am STILL very sore/tender from the exam I had a week ago here in town. Turns out when I saw my doctor that they didn't want a cervical measurement because at this point in the pregnancy there is no reason to really do it. We know the stitch is doing its job.

I saw cardiology again as well. Not much new there. They did increase the medication that I am on again as my heart rate is still pretty high. Hopefully we start to see some change in it soon! I was also told that I need to start putting my feet up higher than my heart as much as I can in the day and as well try to sleep like that. I have swelling in my feet and legs which can be pregnancy related, but cardiology wants to be safe as there is always the chance that it is heart related.

Anyhow, I of course ended up seeing a brand new doctor and was a little frustrated because I have not seen the main doctor who knows me best in a while. We talked about the pregnancy and how things are going and then I asked about my stitch removal. She told me that it would be at 37 weeks or later. I told her that I had discussed this with my main doctor and she had spoken a while back about possibly removing it sooner. As well I wanted to be sure that it would be her removing it and I was told it would depend on the day I came in. So of course I get upset. My anxiety has been getting worse and I like plans in place so this all didn't go over well with me. I am VERY nervous about the removal as it is and not knowing who would be taking it out made it that much worse. She went and got my doctor for me.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO we have kind of put plans in place. I will have my cerclage removed on August 8th because she will for sure be there that day. If she is not upstairs, they are to page her to come up and do it. This is only 13 days away!!! I will be 34 weeks 6 days, so a bit early for removal, but she is totally okay with it.

I know that I will most likely be delivering a healthy baby, but with my personal experiences and a lot of my social circle, this is not the case. So with knowing too much it makes it hard for me to be 100% positive about how things will go and how things will turn out. Until that baby is safe in my arms there will always be that small fear. Thankfully my doctor TOTALLY understands WHY I feel this way and wants to try and make things easier for me.

She has put in my birth plan that no interventions are allowed during delivery such as forceps and vacuum extraction. If anything is going wrong I will immediately be given a c section. Usually doctors try everything else first, but she will change that for me.

By my appointment August 8th I need to decide if I want to be induced. This was another suggestion from her, but it is totally my choice. The main reasons for this are so that

1. I can plan childcare for A for the delivery day and the couple days after. She realizes that in having A it isn't going to always be easy to find last minute care for him as I only have so many trach trained people.

2. It reduces my anxiety about possibly not making it to the hospital where I see high risk and having to go here to the hometown hospital. With how fast labor has been for me in the past there is a good chance that I would not make it 40 minutes out of town. This makes me very anxious as the doctor I don't want to EVER deal with could very well be on call. I would rather deliver alone than there with him.

The induction would be at around 38 weeks.....so, big decision for me to make!!!! This means baby will be here by the end of August!!!! However with that all being said, there is a possibility that I would not even make it to induction day and end up having baby prior. I have yet to make a choice yet, but will let you know the final decision when I do.

So all in all, we are having a baby soon! It is starting to feel real. It honestly hasn't yet at all because I have been so focused on getting past each day. We are just super excited to finally meet this baby and become a family of four!!!!!!!!!!


Friday 22 July 2011

32 Weeks, Lion Safari & The Wiggles

So, I am now at 32 weeks and 3 days! So crazy! I can't believe that in less than 53 days we will be welcoming our new baby into our lives. It began to feel very real Tuesday night when I ended up heading into labor and delivery to be seen as I was having a TON of pressure and I was very crampy when standing. I felt at times that the baby was going to actually fall out.

I had called our local hospital and asked the nurse that was on if they would be comfortable just checking a cerclage and she said yes. I told her what was going on and she definitely felt that I needed to be checked. She did tell me that if anything was going on that I would be sent by ambulance to my regular hospital anyways as I am pre term. She did say she thought I should call them and see what they said so I did that too. The nurse there told me it was pretty normal to feel pressure at 32 weeks but I knew that the feelings were NEW and uncomfortable.

I figured since it was already late that we would just head to our local hospital instead of going 45 minutes to the hospital out of town where I see high risk. I did know that the doctor on call was one that I never wanted to deal with when it came to any of my pregnancies (he was actually the whole reason I went with a midwife for A) but figured he would just be checking my cerclage and nothing else so I would suck it up.

We were in and settled by 9:45pm. The nurse was absolutely wonderful with us and knew that with our history we were pretty nervous about what could be going on. As great as it is to be 32 weeks along, we know that the baby is still not officially ready for this world and want him/her to wait as long as they can.

I was placed on a monitor and the little munchkin was crazy in there! This is the second time I have been hooked up to a monitor and it must like it because it then starts to move non stop. The nurse had asked me prior to placing me on the monitor if I was having any contractions and I told her no. Well what do you know, I had five in the 45 minutes I was hooked up! It was so wonderful to lay there and listen to the baby move around, his/her heart rate and feeling them move at once.

Turns out going there wasn't quicker because the doctor ended up doing a surgery and then a c section. It wasn't until 1:30am that he finally came in. By this point I honestly felt a TON better but figured for peace of mind to let him check me. Well, let me tell you it was HORRID. I have had three exams with the cerclage in place by my team and not ONCE did it EVER hurt like that. I was ready to honestly hit him it hurt so bad. It felt like he was ripping my stitch out with his bare hands. I can honestly say that I feel like he violated me. It was totally uncalled for. I would never in a million years let this man touch me again. I would rather give birth alone here at home than to have him deliver my child.

Turns out that all is fine and I was not dilated at all which is a great thing!

It kind of sucks because I have been thinking a lot lately about when I go into labor. With how fast I have gone in the past this is kind of a concern and a 45 minute car ride would be a long way to go while in hard/fast labor. So I had started thinking that MAYBE I would just end up going to Guelph, but the other night just changed my mind. There is no way on earth that I would allow this man to deliver my baby and my luck he would be the one on call. With all that I have been through in the past and with this pregnancy, I want things to go smoothly and I want this to be a wonderful memory, not something horrible and scary. So I just hope that I have enough time to get to the hospital and not have the baby in the vehicle!

I have been having tons of contractions yesterday and today so not too sure what to think of that, but so far obviously the stitch is doing its job, as I hope it continues to do! I see my team again on Monday and I am pretty nervous because this will be the day that we do another growth scan of baby and talk about the stitch removal. We are getting close to the home stretch!!!!!!!!!!

I can tell that the baby is definitely getting bigger as the movements are now getting to be uncomfortable at times. Baby is getting stronger too with those kicks and punches.

The past couple of days I have been having issues again with my breathing and heart rate but I see cardiology again on Monday so we will see if they want to increase my dose of meds again.

Tuesday we headed to the African Lion Safari for a nice family day. We got in for a super price as it was a camp day for kiddos that are part of CNIB. We met a lot of great new people! We all had a great time and think next year we may just have to get season passes as a family!!


Heading out on the boat safari



Train ride time!



The bus safari tour....

Little man riding an elephant with daddy!!!


As you can see we had an AWESOME time!!!

And in some other great news, The Wiggles 20th birthday....

Last Sunday I saw a commercial that The Wiggles were on tour. I had wanted to take A last year but it never worked out. I got onto the website for them and decided to fire off an email to them. After sending it, I was given a message that said that there was a very high volume of emails that The Wiggles received each week (thousands!) and therefore not every email would be replied to, but all would be read at some point. I figured I would never hear from them at all to be honest.

Well less than 24 hours later I received an email from their manager!!!! So what is the exciting news?! She has asked us to come on Sunday prior to the show so that A can meet The Wiggles in person backstage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was soooo excited when I got this email!!! I immediately text hubby and asked him what he thought about going and he said for sure. So Sunday we are off to TO to meet The Wiggles and see them live in concert! I cannot WAIT to see A's reaction!!!!



The Wiggles were the ONLY DVD played during his whole entire ICU stay for his trach. It was on almost 24/7 and just played over and over and over. Heck, we were even able to do an ultrasound of his heart with this video as the nurse danced and sang along. A stayed still for the entire procedure! hahaha

After receiving this email from the manager, this is just another reason that I know there are still wonderful people in this world who want to do what they can to make someone smile. And that she has already done!!!!

Wednesday 13 July 2011

31 Weeks, Summer Camp & School Drama

Is this not amazing?! I am now 31 weeks 1 day pregnant!!!! I saw my doctor on Monday and they are very pleased to see me get this far. My uterus is now measuring at an incredible 37 weeks so I will have another ultrasound in two weeks to check measurements of baby to see the size. I am going to be completely honest that I am super anxious about how big this baby is going to be at birth. Besides measuring six weeks ahead, things are good and I do not have to go back for two weeks!

In little man news, he has started his first summer camp this summer. He is going to be in four different weekly camps and so far he is LOVING it. Monday was his first day and upon coming home I was told by his respite worker that it wasn't such a great start. A was not being included as he should have been. There was actually a camp counsellor that stood directly in front of him during circle time. When she was asked to move by A's worker, she turned, looked at A, rolled her eyes and did not move. This absolutely breaks my heart to hear things like this. I thank God that A does not understand what this counsellor was doing. Can you imagine how broken his heart would be???? As well, upon leaving the building they were in to go outside, A obviously had to go down the elevator. Well, when they got outside, the group was no where to be seen. They did not wait for A!!!! Thankfully A's worker is VERY good with him and is good at voicing her opinion. She did speak up for A in both situations and is a very good advocate when I am not available to be doing that.

I was so angry I immediately called to speak to the camp director. However being as late as it was I was not able to talk to her until today. This camp is all about being inclusive and I am disgusted that they would have camp counsellors work there that treat children this way. The director told me that she would be speaking to them about what went on, but she honestly didn't sound that concerned. Hopefully things turn around, cause my little man deserves to be treated just like everyone else and have a great time!!!

In some other drama, comes school. Unfortunately it looks like I am up for another fight. I spoke to the principal of his current school (she is new) and she does NOT have the same thoughts that I do at all. She does not think that A should be integrated at all, but rather should be placed in the DD class to focus on his direct needs. I do not agree AT ALL at this point and I will not give in to her belief. A is only six years old. There is absolutely NO reason for him to be placed in a DD class at this point. It is good for him to be around other children and it is good for those kids as well to be around him. I don't like feeling like my decision as a mother is not the right one. I know my child better than anyone else and what I want for him is MY decision.

Another option she had if I absolutely would not consider a DD class was to have him in the split 1/2 class next year. I was getting very frustrated because there is not a chance that A is going to continue going to that school so that is NOT an option. Secondly, why would you put a child that is supposed to be doing SK over again into a grade 1/2 class. I told her that we had met with A's principal and teacher a couple months back and talked all this over. We all agreed that it would be best for A to stay back in SK for September for a few reasons. When I told her this, she told me that she did not agree and that there was no reason for A to stay back. *sigh*

Anyhow, after finally getting my point across that this school was NOT an option, I told her where I would like A to go. She told me that it probably wasn't going to happen and that A should just go to his home school. His home school was the first one that we met with last year and is just not a good option at all for him. They have never had a child like A in the school and most importantly, there is no DD class. We all know eventually that A will need to be in a DD class and I would like the school that he is at to have one for when that move is needed. I was told that I should not and could not plan A's transition this far ahead of time. Pardon?! I sure can. I am his mother and I like to plan things! Why on earth would I want to send him to a school  KNOWING full well that in a couple of years he would have to move to another school that had a DD class for him to attend????????????

She then went on to tell me that she was not sure how the EA situation worked at his home school, but that there would probably be some that are assigned there and then A would get his "allotment" of time for one to one. I asked her what she meant, and she told me that A would get so much time per day of EA one to one support. I told her that was not possible and that A needed a full time EA. I was told that this was my opinion. Again, Pardon???????? When I asked her what A was supposed to do for the rest of the day that he didn't have an EA...like just sit there and look at the class, she told me the teachers would never do that to him. And that there would be nothing wrong with wheeling him over to a group of kids and have him watch. Sorry, but teachers do not have the time to focus that much attention on ONE child. Nor is it fair to have A watch kids do things that he should be INCLUDED in.

I am so flipping angry about this all. I am tired of having to fight for what is right for my child. I am tired of having to fight for the RIGHTS of my child. The lady does not know my son AT ALL and yet is talking to me like she knows him best.

I got off the phone with her after about 45 minutes in complete tears. I then spoke to the superintendent of this school about what went on and what was said. Unfortunately with it being summer there really is nothing to be done, so I have to wait to deal with the special needs coordinator and have her advocate to have A moved to the school I want him in.

Lets just all keep our fingers crossed that everything works out the way that I want it to for my little man!


Monday 4 July 2011

Almost At The Big 3-0 & Family Update!

Well here we are.....only ONE day away from 30 weeks! Tomorrow! I can't believe how fast time is going with this pregnancy. We still have NOTHING ready or done yet for this baby! But we are okay with this because we are not going to be doing the baby's room until after it comes home anyways. Baby will be sleeping in with us for the first while so we will have lots of time to do things the way we want. It is tough when you don't know if you are having a boy or a girl because we don't want to do the room "neutral". If we have a boy, it will be a boys room and if we have a girl, it will be a girls room.

My 29 week appointment went okay with the doctor last week. Again, she wasn't wanting to check my cervix as it is best to leave well enough alone. I did have an ultrasound to do a measurement of baby as the week prior, I was measuring larger than the 28 weeks that I was. Turns out this baby is HUGE. At only 29 weeks, this baby was measured at an approximate 4.4lbs! I of course thought right away about delivery. I am nervous enough as it is, and knowing that this baby is going to be VERY large makes me even more nervous. She will be doing another measurement in a few weeks and if it is still measuring in the 95th percentile then we will talk more about a possible c section. (For those that don't know, a baby at 29 weeks should average about 2.5lbs).

I also had my registration same day and things are all set up there and ready to go. It was kind of odd to register for a delivery because we never had the chance for that with A. My support during delivery of this little miracle will of course be my hubby and my mom. IF my mom happens to be up North, then it will be Auntie A. Needless to say, Auntie A said she had to figure out a way to keep grandma up North so she can be there for the birth of her new niece or nephew! hahaha I wish the rules weren't so strict about who can be in the room and such, but rules are rules.

I continue to deal with contractions that started a week ago. They were pretty random when they started a week ago, but over the course of the week have become much more frequent. Some days they seem like they are just constantly happening.

I had to head to Mac again for cardiology last Tuesday and actually ended up in labor and delivery after seeing the cardiologist. I had Andrea with me and if it wasn't for her, I honestly don't know if I would have gone in. I feel like I am being crazy and just worrying too much. When I told the nurse that she told me that I shouldn't think that at all. She said she thought I was very brave after my history. Amazing sometimes how we can be thinking one thing and others around us are totally not even thinking on the same page.

I was hooked up for about 45 minutes and then my doctor (thankfully she was on) came in to see me. She ended up doing a manual exam to check my cerclage and said that I had about 1cm left of cervix and stitch was holding. She said to go for lunch and if they continued or got more frequent to come back. So Andrea and I went and had a nice lunch and then headed home.

Cardiology was happy that my EKG showed that my heart rhythm was back to normal (it was abnormal the first time) and doubled the medication that I am on. My heart rate was still about 100 so she does want to see it a bit lower. I am still dealing with the shortness of breath, but I am happy to know that it at least is not because of my heart!

On Wednesday I had A LOT of contractions and started to wonder if maybe I had a UTI. I was able to go into my family doctors office here on Thursday (of course he was away on vacation so I had to see someone else), but I am really glad that I went. Turns out the dip test didn't show anything that made her think that I had a UTI, but was going to send it away for a culture. However she thought I was diabetic. When I told her no she was shocked. The glucose in my urine was VERY high. So this morning I headed in for blood work after fasting and we will see if it shows anything. This is just so frustrating for me. I had my gestational diabetes test around week 26 and it was fine. The doctor was surprised that when baby was measuring in at 4.4lbs that they didn't sent me for fasting again, as diabetes is something that can develop any time during the pregnancy.
In little man land.....he is officially done school! He absolutely had the BEST time and I am so proud of him for doing so well. I really didn't think that he would like school and boy did he prove me wrong! If he could go everyday (including weekends) he would! It got to the point that in the mornings he would be very angry because he wanted to go THEN and not have to wait for the bus to come and get him.

He had an amazing teacher who went above and beyond her duty as his teacher. She made sure that she included him in any way that was possible. His first year of school could honestly not have been ANY better in the way of people that were involved in his care/teaching. (I hope they wouldn't mind me posting these pics....they are AWESOME pictures!!!!!!!!!!!)

His EA was also amazing with him and after all of my anxiety about who his EA would be, I am happy that he ended up with the one he did. When we would talk about his teacher and EA here at home he would light up. He definitely knew who I was talking about!


Sadly I am going to have to find a new school for my little man for next year. I will not go into details as to WHY this has to happen, but there is just no way that he can continue to go there in September. I will say though, that this has NOTHING to do with the school in ANY WAY. It is an amazing school and the BEST place for him but for the best interest of our family it will not and cannot happen. I am VERY VERY emotional about this and have cried many tears. I wish there was some way to make it work but at this point I see no resolution to the problem without moving him to another school in our city.


The other part that totally sucks about this, is that I called the special needs coordinator that I dealt with last year to get things organized for him to go to school and she is not back until September 6th which is the day that he is to start school. So it looks like once again he will not be able to start his school year on time along with all the other kids. And with his medical issues it always takes much longer than the typical registration and getting the school sorted out and ready for him.

My other issue, is that the school that he goes to was willing to let him go every day next year even though he would be staying back in SK. (The school is still not on the everyday/all day kindergarten.) This meant that he would be in two different classes, but we know he would love it anyways. So now I will have to find a school that has all day/everyday class as I am sure that him being in two classes is not going to be an option.

SOOOOOOOOOO frustrated and definitely NOT what I want/need to be dealing with at this time!

Besides school, he is going to have a very busy summer. He will be involved in four different camps over the next two months. They are each one week camps and his friend Missy will be going with him. With how much he loved school I knew that there was NO way that he was going to want to just sit around home all summer and relax. And of course, thinking ahead I wanted to be sure he was going to have fun if I was in hospital at all with this pregnancy. But thankfully that has NOT happened!

On July 1st we headed to Cambridge to be a part of the Canada Day Parade. I had NO idea that this even went on every year and it was a lot of fun! We were part of the float/walk for organ and tissue donation. A had a sign on his wheelchair that was made to support his favorite Auntie A. It was really awesome to see people in the crowds clapping and whistling for our float. The support is incredible! A's sign was also a big hit. I heard MANY people reading it out loud. A walked with his favorite friend in the parade and he LOVED it.
A with his Auntie A


Is this not awesome?!?!



After the parade was over there were a bunch of booths set up and some carnival rides. A went on this firetruck with his friend "M" and LOVED LOVED LOVED it. It went really high up and around in circles. First forwards and then backwards. Mommy stayed on the ground and took pictures and a video!